White Wolf is a man of many talents. That is an overused expression in my opinion and it is totally valid in this case. In fact, I'm quite sure there are many more talents of his I'm not aware of only because I have not needed to utilize those aspects of him as a resource yet.
He has simultaneously guided me through nature, while guiding me through inner work from my higher self to my physical in a supportive and grounded way. It had never occurred to me prior to meeting him that my “inner me" me would be greatly enhanced by an outward exploration in nature. That may sound obvious, but at the time in my life, a paved walk through a park was getting out in nature.
A mountain man, a Doctor Dolittle x100, lifeguard, mountain rescuer, and the most honest person I've ever known. Because of that Honesty, he is also really funny. Because life is weird, and if you're honest in what you say and do, well some shit it's just going to be funny.
I sometimes return to lessons and courses taken with him a decade ago and am still
processing and applying a percentage of what was presented to me. His depth of knowledge on anything he teaches or shares is too deep oven ocean for me too comprehend. However, the nuggets that I am able to digest, continue to serve me and help me grow. The knowledge he presents is nourishing for my soul as well as helpful for and healing for the physical.
His knowledge of traditional medicine and spiritual practices gives him a unique and extremely broad yet many fathoms deep understanding of our connection to the Earth and Beyond and how to navigate it. He is a guide, a sage, medicine man, and artists . He creates many things of beauty. Because he can connect with all the beauty in the world and enhance it for others to take notice.
Julia
Body Therapy Massage specialist
***
Knowing White Wolf for almost ten years, he has always been one who likes to dig deep into the subject he teaches as well studies with dedication himself.
Be the topic philosophy, martial arts, native hand craft or internal skills of intuitive nature you can bet Wolf has paid his dues for obtaining knowledge. Always expanding, always transcending.
I can personally testify that his assistance and guidance has been extremely important to many people. That is just how he is as a person, he is helpful and caring as well as having a lot of wisdom accumulated from a life path of many extremities.
-Johannes
Pop Rapper, Nature guide - Finland
***
White Wolf has ever been a solid friend, counselor and mentor in matters related to personal growth, problems of mental or physical kind, wilderness survival plus martial arts skills and sharing deep, old wisdom pertaining to the very existence of mankind.
Despite his struggle with his own health he has always found the time to answer back with wisdom unparalleled to any other source. Added to his vast inner database derived from ancient Native American knowledge he has a keen mind of his own to enable deep analysis and understanding of almost any area of contemplation. With a unique ability to provide out-of-the-box insights White Wolf has provided this happy customer and a friend eye-opening realizations on multiple occasions. This coming from a fellow who already prides himself with a keen insight himself, mind you. :)
White Wolf's wilderness survival tactics and an impressive down-to-earth ability in various martial arts leaves anyone breathless, and that is an understatement, having witnessed these skills in person. I bet he has forgotten more about those skills than most people ever learn in a lifetime. Strike that, he doesn't forget stuff.
White Wolf's understanding of the seasons, the elements and anything related to nature and the natural ways is more comprehensive than any I've ever encountered. They are now a significant part of my everyday interaction with people, life and the inner me.
And beyond all the aforementioned abilities he is also a first class craftsman. The lion claw necklace he made for me is ever one of my most prized possessions. The variety of his crafts is mind numbing, like most of the things about this man.
It is impossible to even briefly recount the impact this man's presence, wisdom and knowledge has had on my life. His absolute dedication to whatever he endeavors in is absolutely astounding. None of this testimonial is lip service -- if anything, it falls short to describe his uniqueness. If I had to condense his presence here on Earth to one word, it would probably be -- Thorough.
Sami O. Vartiainen
Director/choreographer/energy worker - Finland
***
I had a rune cast done by White Wolf and it was highly informative. Very pleased and have recommended his services to a lot of people! Beforehand I told a friend who’s big into the New Age mash. She said nobody could do a reading for me and that I had to do it myself. Right, like I have to find a teacher, study and practice for years to understand the runes in order to do a cast for myself?? I don’t think so. What about all the stories of these shaman people and vulvas that traveled all around helping people with runes and ceremony? Like they didn’t know how to see things in the runes for others, whatever. I had some wellbeing consuls with White Wolf years ago and he read me like a book and I never met the man in face to face! Can he read the runes - yea, and he can read a whole lot more as well! He’s the real deal plain and simple.
L. Jones
Grade School teacher - Australia
***
My name is Sebastian and I have known White Wolf since 2012. I met him because at the time he was running a website and blog called "The Wolf's Den", that a friend recommended to me to check out for it contained information that one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else. At the time I was looking for guidance, instruction and a community of like minded individuals to discuss topics ranging from the very pragmatic all the way to the most esoteric. Of course one will always be a bit skeptical at first when dealing with anything on the internet but what I found in White Wolf was far beyond my most enthusiastic expectations. I found in him not only a teacher's teacher but also a most dear friend. His knowledge is vast but his character, being sturdy, steadfast, noble, loyal to a fault and of the highest integrity, was even more unexpected!
When I first messaged him I wanted to learn about wilderness survival, self healing, martial arts and combat applications, about the ways of the wild, about animal totem medicine, crafts and most importantly of all: I wanted him to help me heal emotionally and psychologically from abuse and trauma. Now, I didn’t know if I could even be helped because my issues were very deep and even conventional psychotherapy with a Harvard graduate psychiatrist could barely ease my pains and yet White Wolf, through a combination of his genius and all the other attributes I have listed above managed to do just that! I am a far, far, FAR stronger, happier and more peaceful person today than I was all those years ago and a large part in my healing process is the result of White Wolf's presence and care in my life.
There are many qualities he possesses that separates him from anyone else that I know but the one aspect I think is most note-worthy is that he himself gained all of his knowledge not from the comfort of secluded study and books but from life itself. He actually went through such hell unlike what most people can even begin to imagine and he not only survived but came out such a kind and caring person! Now THAT is testimony to someone's abilities!
The internet is full to the brim with people calling themselves "healers'', "shamans'', "energy workers" and even worse: 'masters"! Many, if not most, of these individuals have had very easy lives compared to someone like White Wolf and while I do not mean to belittle anyone's personal story, I do wish to say that; if I wanted to learn how to recover from an injury of any kind for example, I'd like that person to have experienced that very injury him or herself and not just studied about it in college. For how can you talk about anything unless you have experienced it yourself? And physical injuries are not even that big of a deal; more elusive and hard to treat is damage done to one's emotional body, to one psyche. Most people will never have to endure a life such as the one White Wolf was burdened with and so his knowledge far exceeds the need of most people and for that very reason he is the ultimate teacher, the ultimate healer to seek out as he will have more to offer, on any given topic, that the person in need of help might think possible!
I am being vague here on purpose because everybody is different and so the best advice I can give the reader of my commentary is to just talk to White Wolf and find out for yourself what I mean, and what I have been left unspoken between my lines.
Sebastian
LA - USA
***
I had White Wolf do a few readings for me over the years. His ability to convey easy to understand, yet detailed guidance I’ve found profound. All of his advice I’ve taken to heart. Furthermore, the results of his readings have made such a powerful impact upon my life and have assisted me in so many wonderful ways. Its easy for me to tell his ability to interpret the runes come from more than mere book study. To me his rune knowledge seems very ethereal, and derived from within rather than linear study. This to me speaks volumes for the practitioner.
White Wolf’s advice has always left me looking at my life and the world in ways I never did before.
Michele
Nurse - Arizona
***
I’been acquainted with White Wolf since his first wilderness survival school back around 2010. In my humble opinion he’s a man with few peers and a true master at many things!
Teacher - CHECK
Woodsman - CHECK
Exceptional marital arts master - CHECK
Elite trained and decades hardened warrior - CHECK
Speaker - CHECK
Writer - CHECK
Poet - CHECK
Heart of Integrity - CHECK
Wild spirit that plays at domestication for the comfort of modern people - CHECK
Artist and Craftsman - CHECK
Practical spiritualist - CHECK
Energy Worker - CHECK
Rune worker - CHECK
Visionary - CHECK
Master at adaptability - CHECK
Life Guide - CHECK
Wolf in human skin - CHECK
There aren’t enough words I could say to adequately describe the depth and amazingness of this man. To me he’s always been a picture of fortitude, sheer determination and an unbreakable spirit. All I can say is that he’s helped me in every level of my life in ways he’ll never know, and I’m eternally grateful.
Path Walker
Naturlist - Oregon
***
White Wolf's spent years meticulously researching and tracing his bloodlines through the highly detailed family tree his grandfather documented throughout his life. It is his belief that the more one knows about and reconnects to one's roots, the more a person opens into the truth of themselves, and the unique personal power one develops, that allows the continual flow of creative energy from their bloodline and its original wisdoms to flow into the world. He lives a wild life. Holding strong to his roots he dedicates a great deal of his time to studying, upholding and living the ways of his ancestors. From working crafts and making mead from scratch (wild fermenting) like the ancient Vikingr, studying the Norskk language to dedicating his life to true warrior ways and lifestyle, and honoring the process of existence through both life and death, he truly embodies all he stands for.
L.M.
master in history and businessman - Britain
***
White Wolf helped me so much in life. He is real sage. White Wolf is like shaman. His life been big extremes. Many big suffering for many years. And many strong beauty too. Like shaman in initiation with suffering to gain bigger view and gift. And he is wonderful true person with big heart. So big thank you! If my english was good I say many more.
Libi
Israel
***
"I am a man in my 50`s and I live in Finland Scandinavia. Since I was very young, actually before I was even born, I grew up in a violent environment. I of course cant remember how my drunken father was throwing my mother down of stairs, when she was pregnant and waiting for me.
But I remember a lot. I think I was like 3 to 4 years old, when I used to wake up in middle of the night. Sometimes there was broken window and bloody and drunken person coming in the house throug the hole. That person often beat the shit out of my mother and at least once tried to kill my sister, as she was trying to call help - just to mention something what was going on. I pissed my pants every night and I was terrified 24/7. That man was my own father. They divorced when I was 5, the case which I am just happy.
Only person who I ever trusted as he made me feel safe, was my older brother. He was a sailor and a lot of away from home. I lost him during the accident when I was 11 years old. In that day my whole world ended. At that time my sister was at hospital, because she couldn't anymore handle the traumas of violence and fear.
Before my brothers death, my school teacher used to use mental violence against me. Public humiliating, lying about me, and stuff like that. We were poor and my parents were divorced, so I think that the teacher didn't liked that. I was a "looser" to him.
Year later at school, the school gang was the next one. They took me in their eye, and once again I faced the violence. All this made me sort of bitter and depressed. As one can imagine, the school and studying was like hell.
I didn't liked the violence, but I felt that I need some protection. I see that strong motive of safe now, but at that time it was hidden in deep dark shadows of my wounded mind.
First I took easy job as security person and trained years the Karate etc. Then I felt a need for more secure and I thought that a professional soldier will fit in that idea. With in that trail, I found my self in pretty interesting situations - and even more violence environment of course. But I didn't felt safe, no matter what I did.
It all made me just more broken and sick, as usually is the case on those violent trails. They really wont make you feel strong and safe, just broken and need for more protection and armors - as I understand this now.
After a decades and many broken dreams and bones, I settled down with my wife. I started to work like mad as a self employee. I made tons of money and wealth, but no safe feeling. So, I kept running faster and making more money. I have believed among many others, that money will fix that lack of safe. It wont.
Yes, I was many times looking for help for depression and anxiety, etc, without understanding that I have C-PTSD. Only cure I found from doctors, was mostly drugs and talking shit. They didn't helped, as was not helping money, working, or a tons of beer (no matter the label of it).
I finally found my edge. I was divorced once again. Lost my health, all my contracts and jobs, incoming, my new house that I bought after the divorce, lost fancy cars, and of course my new relationship with beautiful and wonderful lady, was all gone at once. Working, money, relationship and my daughter, was the all purpose in my life. Inside me, there was nothing but dark and deepening dwell of pain.
That was it. I have seen these paths and all the pain that I don't want take anymore. I choose to die, to finally find a peace and safe place to go. I was very selfish, I know this. But no matter what, that was the case and I don't blame myself or anyone else anymore.
At that moment, my good friend called me - to ask how I was doing? So, I told him straight what was going. I am not going take this shit anymore!
He asked me to wait a minute, he will call back right away. I knew he is not going to call the cops. I waited as he called back as he said. He gave me an e-mail address, to send a message to one person in States, as his good friend. I didn't knew nothing about this man, but he might be able to help me. So, I wrote to that man and told him something what is going on.
He answered me almost right away. I was in tears when I read his quick answer. I had a feed back that I was looking for my whole life. The answer gave me hope. It is not matter number of the words. They just need to be the right ones.
In a first time in my life, I had some real help and advice. That man was the first person (including many doctors that I met during the years) that I was ever met who was aware what means life threatening condition of C-PTSD.
With this help I found a skillful EMDR counselor in Finland and there started a years lasting healing process. I did all that was in my hands to get better. It was a rough road, that the counselor and those good friends were making some easier to walk.
I am deeply happy that after years now, I am finally a live and my little daughter is still having her both parents. And I am more than happy that I now can call this "mystery man from States" as my friend, who has walked through this hell with me. Wolf, thank you.
I finally had my life back, as it should be to all of us. Safe, and to love and respect ourselves and support the others.
Janne
Finland
He has simultaneously guided me through nature, while guiding me through inner work from my higher self to my physical in a supportive and grounded way. It had never occurred to me prior to meeting him that my “inner me" me would be greatly enhanced by an outward exploration in nature. That may sound obvious, but at the time in my life, a paved walk through a park was getting out in nature.
A mountain man, a Doctor Dolittle x100, lifeguard, mountain rescuer, and the most honest person I've ever known. Because of that Honesty, he is also really funny. Because life is weird, and if you're honest in what you say and do, well some shit it's just going to be funny.
I sometimes return to lessons and courses taken with him a decade ago and am still
processing and applying a percentage of what was presented to me. His depth of knowledge on anything he teaches or shares is too deep oven ocean for me too comprehend. However, the nuggets that I am able to digest, continue to serve me and help me grow. The knowledge he presents is nourishing for my soul as well as helpful for and healing for the physical.
His knowledge of traditional medicine and spiritual practices gives him a unique and extremely broad yet many fathoms deep understanding of our connection to the Earth and Beyond and how to navigate it. He is a guide, a sage, medicine man, and artists . He creates many things of beauty. Because he can connect with all the beauty in the world and enhance it for others to take notice.
Julia
Body Therapy Massage specialist
***
Knowing White Wolf for almost ten years, he has always been one who likes to dig deep into the subject he teaches as well studies with dedication himself.
Be the topic philosophy, martial arts, native hand craft or internal skills of intuitive nature you can bet Wolf has paid his dues for obtaining knowledge. Always expanding, always transcending.
I can personally testify that his assistance and guidance has been extremely important to many people. That is just how he is as a person, he is helpful and caring as well as having a lot of wisdom accumulated from a life path of many extremities.
-Johannes
Pop Rapper, Nature guide - Finland
***
White Wolf has ever been a solid friend, counselor and mentor in matters related to personal growth, problems of mental or physical kind, wilderness survival plus martial arts skills and sharing deep, old wisdom pertaining to the very existence of mankind.
Despite his struggle with his own health he has always found the time to answer back with wisdom unparalleled to any other source. Added to his vast inner database derived from ancient Native American knowledge he has a keen mind of his own to enable deep analysis and understanding of almost any area of contemplation. With a unique ability to provide out-of-the-box insights White Wolf has provided this happy customer and a friend eye-opening realizations on multiple occasions. This coming from a fellow who already prides himself with a keen insight himself, mind you. :)
White Wolf's wilderness survival tactics and an impressive down-to-earth ability in various martial arts leaves anyone breathless, and that is an understatement, having witnessed these skills in person. I bet he has forgotten more about those skills than most people ever learn in a lifetime. Strike that, he doesn't forget stuff.
White Wolf's understanding of the seasons, the elements and anything related to nature and the natural ways is more comprehensive than any I've ever encountered. They are now a significant part of my everyday interaction with people, life and the inner me.
And beyond all the aforementioned abilities he is also a first class craftsman. The lion claw necklace he made for me is ever one of my most prized possessions. The variety of his crafts is mind numbing, like most of the things about this man.
It is impossible to even briefly recount the impact this man's presence, wisdom and knowledge has had on my life. His absolute dedication to whatever he endeavors in is absolutely astounding. None of this testimonial is lip service -- if anything, it falls short to describe his uniqueness. If I had to condense his presence here on Earth to one word, it would probably be -- Thorough.
Sami O. Vartiainen
Director/choreographer/energy worker - Finland
***
I had a rune cast done by White Wolf and it was highly informative. Very pleased and have recommended his services to a lot of people! Beforehand I told a friend who’s big into the New Age mash. She said nobody could do a reading for me and that I had to do it myself. Right, like I have to find a teacher, study and practice for years to understand the runes in order to do a cast for myself?? I don’t think so. What about all the stories of these shaman people and vulvas that traveled all around helping people with runes and ceremony? Like they didn’t know how to see things in the runes for others, whatever. I had some wellbeing consuls with White Wolf years ago and he read me like a book and I never met the man in face to face! Can he read the runes - yea, and he can read a whole lot more as well! He’s the real deal plain and simple.
L. Jones
Grade School teacher - Australia
***
My name is Sebastian and I have known White Wolf since 2012. I met him because at the time he was running a website and blog called "The Wolf's Den", that a friend recommended to me to check out for it contained information that one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else. At the time I was looking for guidance, instruction and a community of like minded individuals to discuss topics ranging from the very pragmatic all the way to the most esoteric. Of course one will always be a bit skeptical at first when dealing with anything on the internet but what I found in White Wolf was far beyond my most enthusiastic expectations. I found in him not only a teacher's teacher but also a most dear friend. His knowledge is vast but his character, being sturdy, steadfast, noble, loyal to a fault and of the highest integrity, was even more unexpected!
When I first messaged him I wanted to learn about wilderness survival, self healing, martial arts and combat applications, about the ways of the wild, about animal totem medicine, crafts and most importantly of all: I wanted him to help me heal emotionally and psychologically from abuse and trauma. Now, I didn’t know if I could even be helped because my issues were very deep and even conventional psychotherapy with a Harvard graduate psychiatrist could barely ease my pains and yet White Wolf, through a combination of his genius and all the other attributes I have listed above managed to do just that! I am a far, far, FAR stronger, happier and more peaceful person today than I was all those years ago and a large part in my healing process is the result of White Wolf's presence and care in my life.
There are many qualities he possesses that separates him from anyone else that I know but the one aspect I think is most note-worthy is that he himself gained all of his knowledge not from the comfort of secluded study and books but from life itself. He actually went through such hell unlike what most people can even begin to imagine and he not only survived but came out such a kind and caring person! Now THAT is testimony to someone's abilities!
The internet is full to the brim with people calling themselves "healers'', "shamans'', "energy workers" and even worse: 'masters"! Many, if not most, of these individuals have had very easy lives compared to someone like White Wolf and while I do not mean to belittle anyone's personal story, I do wish to say that; if I wanted to learn how to recover from an injury of any kind for example, I'd like that person to have experienced that very injury him or herself and not just studied about it in college. For how can you talk about anything unless you have experienced it yourself? And physical injuries are not even that big of a deal; more elusive and hard to treat is damage done to one's emotional body, to one psyche. Most people will never have to endure a life such as the one White Wolf was burdened with and so his knowledge far exceeds the need of most people and for that very reason he is the ultimate teacher, the ultimate healer to seek out as he will have more to offer, on any given topic, that the person in need of help might think possible!
I am being vague here on purpose because everybody is different and so the best advice I can give the reader of my commentary is to just talk to White Wolf and find out for yourself what I mean, and what I have been left unspoken between my lines.
Sebastian
LA - USA
***
I had White Wolf do a few readings for me over the years. His ability to convey easy to understand, yet detailed guidance I’ve found profound. All of his advice I’ve taken to heart. Furthermore, the results of his readings have made such a powerful impact upon my life and have assisted me in so many wonderful ways. Its easy for me to tell his ability to interpret the runes come from more than mere book study. To me his rune knowledge seems very ethereal, and derived from within rather than linear study. This to me speaks volumes for the practitioner.
White Wolf’s advice has always left me looking at my life and the world in ways I never did before.
Michele
Nurse - Arizona
***
I’been acquainted with White Wolf since his first wilderness survival school back around 2010. In my humble opinion he’s a man with few peers and a true master at many things!
Teacher - CHECK
Woodsman - CHECK
Exceptional marital arts master - CHECK
Elite trained and decades hardened warrior - CHECK
Speaker - CHECK
Writer - CHECK
Poet - CHECK
Heart of Integrity - CHECK
Wild spirit that plays at domestication for the comfort of modern people - CHECK
Artist and Craftsman - CHECK
Practical spiritualist - CHECK
Energy Worker - CHECK
Rune worker - CHECK
Visionary - CHECK
Master at adaptability - CHECK
Life Guide - CHECK
Wolf in human skin - CHECK
There aren’t enough words I could say to adequately describe the depth and amazingness of this man. To me he’s always been a picture of fortitude, sheer determination and an unbreakable spirit. All I can say is that he’s helped me in every level of my life in ways he’ll never know, and I’m eternally grateful.
Path Walker
Naturlist - Oregon
***
White Wolf's spent years meticulously researching and tracing his bloodlines through the highly detailed family tree his grandfather documented throughout his life. It is his belief that the more one knows about and reconnects to one's roots, the more a person opens into the truth of themselves, and the unique personal power one develops, that allows the continual flow of creative energy from their bloodline and its original wisdoms to flow into the world. He lives a wild life. Holding strong to his roots he dedicates a great deal of his time to studying, upholding and living the ways of his ancestors. From working crafts and making mead from scratch (wild fermenting) like the ancient Vikingr, studying the Norskk language to dedicating his life to true warrior ways and lifestyle, and honoring the process of existence through both life and death, he truly embodies all he stands for.
L.M.
master in history and businessman - Britain
***
White Wolf helped me so much in life. He is real sage. White Wolf is like shaman. His life been big extremes. Many big suffering for many years. And many strong beauty too. Like shaman in initiation with suffering to gain bigger view and gift. And he is wonderful true person with big heart. So big thank you! If my english was good I say many more.
Libi
Israel
***
"I am a man in my 50`s and I live in Finland Scandinavia. Since I was very young, actually before I was even born, I grew up in a violent environment. I of course cant remember how my drunken father was throwing my mother down of stairs, when she was pregnant and waiting for me.
But I remember a lot. I think I was like 3 to 4 years old, when I used to wake up in middle of the night. Sometimes there was broken window and bloody and drunken person coming in the house throug the hole. That person often beat the shit out of my mother and at least once tried to kill my sister, as she was trying to call help - just to mention something what was going on. I pissed my pants every night and I was terrified 24/7. That man was my own father. They divorced when I was 5, the case which I am just happy.
Only person who I ever trusted as he made me feel safe, was my older brother. He was a sailor and a lot of away from home. I lost him during the accident when I was 11 years old. In that day my whole world ended. At that time my sister was at hospital, because she couldn't anymore handle the traumas of violence and fear.
Before my brothers death, my school teacher used to use mental violence against me. Public humiliating, lying about me, and stuff like that. We were poor and my parents were divorced, so I think that the teacher didn't liked that. I was a "looser" to him.
Year later at school, the school gang was the next one. They took me in their eye, and once again I faced the violence. All this made me sort of bitter and depressed. As one can imagine, the school and studying was like hell.
I didn't liked the violence, but I felt that I need some protection. I see that strong motive of safe now, but at that time it was hidden in deep dark shadows of my wounded mind.
First I took easy job as security person and trained years the Karate etc. Then I felt a need for more secure and I thought that a professional soldier will fit in that idea. With in that trail, I found my self in pretty interesting situations - and even more violence environment of course. But I didn't felt safe, no matter what I did.
It all made me just more broken and sick, as usually is the case on those violent trails. They really wont make you feel strong and safe, just broken and need for more protection and armors - as I understand this now.
After a decades and many broken dreams and bones, I settled down with my wife. I started to work like mad as a self employee. I made tons of money and wealth, but no safe feeling. So, I kept running faster and making more money. I have believed among many others, that money will fix that lack of safe. It wont.
Yes, I was many times looking for help for depression and anxiety, etc, without understanding that I have C-PTSD. Only cure I found from doctors, was mostly drugs and talking shit. They didn't helped, as was not helping money, working, or a tons of beer (no matter the label of it).
I finally found my edge. I was divorced once again. Lost my health, all my contracts and jobs, incoming, my new house that I bought after the divorce, lost fancy cars, and of course my new relationship with beautiful and wonderful lady, was all gone at once. Working, money, relationship and my daughter, was the all purpose in my life. Inside me, there was nothing but dark and deepening dwell of pain.
That was it. I have seen these paths and all the pain that I don't want take anymore. I choose to die, to finally find a peace and safe place to go. I was very selfish, I know this. But no matter what, that was the case and I don't blame myself or anyone else anymore.
At that moment, my good friend called me - to ask how I was doing? So, I told him straight what was going. I am not going take this shit anymore!
He asked me to wait a minute, he will call back right away. I knew he is not going to call the cops. I waited as he called back as he said. He gave me an e-mail address, to send a message to one person in States, as his good friend. I didn't knew nothing about this man, but he might be able to help me. So, I wrote to that man and told him something what is going on.
He answered me almost right away. I was in tears when I read his quick answer. I had a feed back that I was looking for my whole life. The answer gave me hope. It is not matter number of the words. They just need to be the right ones.
In a first time in my life, I had some real help and advice. That man was the first person (including many doctors that I met during the years) that I was ever met who was aware what means life threatening condition of C-PTSD.
With this help I found a skillful EMDR counselor in Finland and there started a years lasting healing process. I did all that was in my hands to get better. It was a rough road, that the counselor and those good friends were making some easier to walk.
I am deeply happy that after years now, I am finally a live and my little daughter is still having her both parents. And I am more than happy that I now can call this "mystery man from States" as my friend, who has walked through this hell with me. Wolf, thank you.
I finally had my life back, as it should be to all of us. Safe, and to love and respect ourselves and support the others.
Janne
Finland
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